Should I forget my crush or not?

Before judging me, get your facts straight first before proceeding. (:

Okay, so to speak, here I go again on a ranting spree. This time, I am confused between two guys (‘YUN OH!).

JOKE LANG!

Anyways, if you’re loyal readers of this blog, I guess you know who my crush is, right? Yep yep, he’s the tall, bespectacled guy who is from the higher batch of College of… (something related with a Bachelor of Science degree).

I think I have to ditch him now (LOL, not dump!).

To tell you the truth, he ate his own words. He said he’ll never ever gonna puff (he once said that smoking is EWW), but he ended up loving it! Bwahahahahahahahhhhahahahaha!

Istoryahe, ‘dong!

I do not hate him, actually. I think I simply do not deserve him at all. Also, there are some accounts telling that he’s really suplado in person (LOL, mukha pa lang niya, matatakot ka na, eh!).

But I missed the days when I say “hi” to him during high school.

He seriously ate his own words. He called me a retard in Formspring, then he dissed me again in Formspring, then I assume that it was really him who fucked up my ask.fm page.

How pathetic of him. He does eat his own words (alphabet soup ang peg!?).

…and he’s the only hater I have who calls me an attention whore.

Stop eating your own words of wisdom, twat — A RANT

DUDE! I am not whoring for attention when I post photos of iPhone cases, ah. ALSO, FUCK YOU FOR CALLING ME COLD-HEARTED BECAUSE YOU THINK OF ME AS:

“I’m able to buy these things, and I don’t really care how many people aren’t able to eat thrice a day. Just whatever.”

Oh, so nobody has the right to be entitled to things that they want, uh!? Infairness sa’yo, you’re able to disguise as someone else who is now starting a sentence with a capital letter and ends with any punctuation marks. Nice try, dude. You’re simply jealous.

That quote displayed? I’m not that kind of person. Sorry, but I know myself better than anyone who thinks I’m the opposite.

You know why you’re keeping your silence on FB? Kasi duwag ka rin, ‘no. Nung nadaanan lang kita ‘jan, hindi ka naman gumawa ng iskandalo! Kaloka ka talaga! Chos!

I also think you’re a stalker, too! So you really ate your own words, man.

At ikaw lang ang tumatawag sa akin ng attention whore! Even my other pal calls you immature. Seriously, you never grew up figuratively. I thought you do not start the fight? I remember, kada galaw ko, nakikialam ka rin.

Again, you ate your own words.

Nananahimik lang ako, pero hindi ka parin makapag-move on sa ginagawa ko. PWES, I will not stop “stalking” you (ikaw lang ang nagsasabing stalker ako ah, hmmmph!) unless you stop calling me an attention whore. Of course, nobody has to agree with me always in terms of my blog posts. Ikaw lang siguro ang butt-hurt, ‘no! Oh come on! Try to realize your past mistakes, because seriously, you will regret it. You don’t even grasp your chance to see me change or improve, somehow. Wala ka palang kwenta, in short. Even though I really do not know you fully, I sense you’re just some “nobody” who thinks that I, myself, will never amount to anything.

So you’re denying about the “homewrecker” thing!?

Dude, you’re joking me crazy, ah!

You sided with the wrong person. ‘Tang ina! Akala mo ikaw lang ang may karapatang magmura! AHHHHHH ako rin, magmumura rin ako at handa ka lang, may hater ka na rin… coming soon!

HAHAHA. Nobody will side with you once I reveal all your secrets.

Karespe-respeto ba ang mga katulad mong pala-mura, prangkang know-it-all at saka MAS warfreak pa sa akin?

Dude, wake up! ‘Wag ka ring assuming kapag may naipo-post ako sa FB, ‘no! Of course, you think all of my posts (as in EVERYTHING!) are offensive because you think I’m a cold-hearted person.

Alright, you think I’m a bitch. However, I only become one when I get mad.

I’m not a bitch, man. Get your facts straight. And I do not howl like a dog.

Also, if you’re going to lambast me as “buhok alambre,” you don’t even know that I never liked my hair when it started to curl unwanted-ly. You’re a bully yourself, kaya makapal talaga mukha ko when I slapped your face figuratively when I told you that you’re fooling your arse out. Totoo naman, eh. Niloloko mo lang ang sarili mo. Call me an ampalaya, however, kinain mo lang ang mga sinabi mo sa akin. Pugneta ka rin pala, eh.

PS: There is this one time na ako pa ang nahihiya after the “conyo” thing, affected ka naman masyado! Ikaw talaga, makapal talaga mukha mo!

Mukha ba akong kaawa-awa? Well, before you jump into conclusions (hahahaha, you ate your words again!), I choose my friends because truth is, I’m not socially-gifted. Mas kawawa ka, dahil kapag nakaka-tanggap ako ng question sa Formspring o sa ask.fm, ina-assume ko na ikaw ang legal hater ko. Yeah, I just gave you a chance of being the legal hater of all my blogs (in fact, I do not tolerate other haters here in my blog), because I find your rants, nitpicks and lambastments against me very ridiculously funny to read. In the end, I’ll simply laugh my arse off on your posts.

Una sa lahat, maawa ka na lang sa sarili mo dahil hindi mo lang ako kayang unawaan. In what way? Do you think you’re practicing what you preach as a person? Yeah right, we all have our flaws, but let’s remember that eating your own words is next to hypocrisy. OH, and please don’t get me started with that hypocrite thing — I could actually be a hypocrite if time permits. Pero ikaw?

I will never forget what you said: Bad ang vices, pero ginagawa mo rin naman! PWE! Nakaka-suka ka! Kahit ugali mo, hindi masisikmura ‘yan ng kahit sino-sino lang. Aso pa lang o ‘di kaya daga, nandidiri na nga, eh!

Buti na lang hindi ka gumagawa ng parunggit laban sa’kin sa FB mo, because once you do it, you’re making a joke out of yourself.

When I was calling your attention, I was sarcastic. When I said,

“I’m waiting…”

I was using sarcasm. You don’t even know what sarcasm is! PWE!

Masyado kang defensive, ‘dong. You just said, “You just want to have a conversation, freak!”

PS: HOY! Please don’t ever shove to me the “move on” thing!

Kahit sinong tao, hindi kayang sikmurahin ang mga pinagsabi mo sa akin. Tutal naman, SANAY ka naman sa mga nitpicks laban sa ‘yo, hindi ba!?

Now it would be much worthless when I entered your school because of you alone (OO NA AAMININ KO NA PWE!). Sa totoo lang, kahit bumagsak ako sa school, at least never kong pinag-isipang magpakamatay. Never ko ring pinag-isipang lumipat ng ibang school, dahil napa-mahal na rin ako sa school na ‘to, no matter what the odds are.

Dude, I feel sorry for your family, too. If you think I haven’t moved on yet, I’m offending you to the worst level. Dude, balang araw, mare-realize mo rin na you still have unfinished business. Call me a pathetic bitch, however, this is the only way I could ditch you na. Napaka-judgmental mo kasi, eh. Nagkamali lang ang isang tao, therefore, huhusgahan mo pa siya lalo.

Sa totoo lang, wala kang kwenta para sa akin. I know some of your friends, at least mas may manners pa nga sila sa’yo eh!

You judged me because I was too pathetic online. Dude, you should fucking know better! You’re just saying that “you don’t care,” pero one time, naki-alam ka rin eh!

Alright! I still have feelings for you, but I still do not know how to lose it. How I wish I never knew you at the very first place! How I wish I never admired you like I’m infatuated. How I wish I never entered your school at all. How I wish I transferred to another school in high school. How I wish I never played that stupid defunct game just because of you.

I know I made a lot of mistakes, however, you should have done and known better. Wala ka rin pala, eh! I always thought of slapping your face, but I chose not to because I don’t like to see you hurt, however, you should get hurt and deeply offended this time.

I will never mention the homewrecker and that stupid online game at all, it’s just between you and me, personally.

You are just like my first serious crush at school. My other buddy is right. Both of you are immature beings who never ever knew how to deal with an admirer seriously.

You once said you will ask for forgiveness from me, but you did not fulfill it. Istoryahe, ‘dong, because I really mean it when you have to fall onto your knees and bow down to me, and kissing my feet. That is NO FUCKING JOKE at all. If I want you to do it, you have to do it, and I don’t care kung iilang populasyon ang nakapaligid sa’tin. You have to humiliate yourself. That’s how a true man should do. Face all the consequences when you lambast a woman.

Dude, you have nothing nice to say to me because your mind has been poisoned. Don’t ask me who the verdict is, because only your conscience could solve that problem.

I do not hate you, man. Face it. I was just keeping quiet when you suddenly asked me on ask.fm about my “luxury items.” I know that was you, and please do not deny that fucking shit. Come on, man. Nobody could swallow that shit you were saying.

GROW THE FUCK UP, PLEASE. I’m just being quiet, and yet you disrespected my ask.fm account just because I did something bad at you. Look, I added you as a friend, and you accepted it. Therefore, I cannot blame you for that. All I can say is thank you because you finally accepted it. Tapos ganyan lang ang gagawin mo sa’kin, after I posted the ask.fm link, you’re just simply going to call me an attention whore!? DELUSYONADO! OGAG!

I was just keeping my silence, and yet you’re going to slap to me about the iPhone thing!? And you called me someone who does not care on people who cannot eat three meals a day!? WAY TO GO! Ampalaya ka lang dahil wala kang iPhone!? Oh, and please remember that you said that Apple is not good with phones. Again, you’re showing your hypocrisy.

Tama pala ang mga nitpicks laban sa’yo eh. Hambog ka nga talaga, and the reason why some people hate you (including that XSOGADA guy) is because of your arrogance. He’s vindicated here dude. You do not need to explain your arrogance.

I will never forget the days when you chose that “homewrecker” than me. Yep, she’s one of my buddies, yet I just decided to cut my relationship with her, because I don’t think she’s worth keeping. The one who called your name!?

Truth is, you made the BIGGEST, and the FUGLIEST mistake in your whole entire life. You sided with that person, you fooling yourself. Therefore, I’m ditching you.

I don’t care who your friends are, even if they defend you against me, I don’t give a fuck.

If you think I’m hitting you so hard is because, you deserve it. You deserve nothing. You deserve what you get. You deserve bad karma. Ayaw mo lang magpatalo, dahil alam kong isasaksak mo ang sarili mo sa baga, eh.

No matter how much respect you earn, I don’t think you deserve it. Yeah right, I never did judge you, however, you just thought that I was judging you.

You seriously remind me of Oscar Pistorius. However, he is even more remorseful than you. I was intending of my former blog posts you hated as a joke, but you took it seriously. Dude, I really didn’t know how to explain those posts against you, but that was seriously a joke. Sorry if I made it worse, pero para kang galit as if galit ka sa mundo, eh. You seriously made me feel like a poor dirty animal, which I am not. I know you do not deserve these nitpicks, but I should bitch out against you. You called me a bitch, REMEMBER!? Well, yes. I’m a bitch. But I am not if you did not judge me at the first place because I thought you would have this certain sense of humor. Your arrogance came after that.

You should have taken those words as a joke.

Sorry talaga if I hurt your feelings, but those things are just jokes. Wala ka palang kwentang tao, eh.

I’m not yet done with you and your stupid arse. I was only being positive at that forums infested with know-it-all people yet you’re contradicting it. Ganyan ka ba ka-GAGO, ha?

You said one time you’re “fucking fine” without me. Well, that’s what you think. You’re simply being conceited. Dude, ‘wag sana mataas ang pride mo ah, dahil napagdaanan ko rin ‘yun. Balang araw, pagsisisihan mo rin ‘yun. I thought you’re a changed person!?

PERO NO. You still didn’t change. Hindi ka parin nakapag-move on. Sa mga sinapit ko, I have told you that I’m bullied and being “feeling closed” at because you were ignorant. You thought that the “bullying” was karma against me.

Masaya ka na at na-bully ako!? Well, I think you should admit your mistakes as well, because truth is, kawawa ka rin. Kung maaawa ka lang sa akin, I don’t think you could take those good things back.

Hindi ka talaga na-kunsensya. Gusto kong iparamdam ko sa’yo na napaka-bastardo mo talaga, kahit kailan. You’re so freaking immature! Pwe!

And please, kung ipipilit ko pa ang sarili ko sa’yo, NO I AM FUCKING NOT! You simply hate me because you think I’m garbage. OKAY FINE, I’m just a ghost to you, and you think of it because of your arrogance. Remember that your arrogance will eat you alive. Remember that. Remember that. Remember that.

Again, I am just being silent. You were the one who sparked the fire when you asked me in ask.fm about the attention whore thing. I know it was you.

Don’t think that I’m super duper affected with that matter. Sa totoo lang, I could no longer do something about this reconciliation thing, because we’re both tired of it. I was thinking, but I cannot do it. Kung pwede lang tayo makipag-harutan sa Face to Face, o sige, pwede na rin! Remember you did not do anything against me when you see me. You coward. Hindi ka talaga nakapag-move on sa’kin.

Hindi lang ako ang nagsasabi ng negative laban sa’yo. People think you’re worth to be defended because you’re freaking outspoken, but that’s about it. Honesty-wise, you did not even admit your past mistakes, like being the impostor under my IGN.

PS: To his friends na nakakaalam about our conflict, I’m begging you guys not to be involved at this. Labas na kayo dito, and it’s just between the two of us. Just please, he does not need anyone to defend him. Please, he must learn to defend himself without your aid. Anyways, he should face me.

At duwag ako!? Ayoko lang ng gulo, kasi marunong rin akong mahiya! Eh ikaw!? Ang kapal-kapal ng mukha mo, kasing-kapal lang ng Webster, ah! Oh, and please, kaya lang kita nai-i-stalk para asarin ka. ‘Yun lang!

If you think this long list of lambastments is not enough for you, tara! Let me slap your face first and literally kick your arse so that nobody will defend you! Your dirty secrets will be revealed!

Seriously, I feel like I’m dying on the inside. You know why I hit you hard one time on Formspring? Because you were fucking insensitive. Yeah right, you know my name, but never my story, and you will regret that for the rest of your life.

Hindi ako nagpapapansin. Okay. If you think I’m doing this for MORE attention, I do not need to be pitied by some people out there. I don’t need those “awa” by the madlang people, because you know what, I could actually handle myself without being questioned. Okay fine, slap my face literally, and I’m fucking fine with it, pero ikaw parin ang talo.

I’m no freaking drama queen, dude. NEVER would I look pathetic like this, however, if you think that I’m a bitch myself, then dream on! People might question me because I’m kinda slacker, but attitude-wise, you’ll never know how much people will value my worth as a person, because truly, I care for them, even though some have their own barkada, even though some are busy… nobody will ever question me, dude. And please stop asking me about the “have you ever checked yourself to the psychiatrist” bullcrap because I am not like Tom Cruise. NEVER.

To end things up, I hope you have wasted all the tears just because I feel emotional right now. YEAH, I think you’re like my other crush who is just like you, wala ring kwenta. Calling me “bobo” (just like how my other crush called me a dick, which is shallower) just because I am too demure and innocent over things does not even make you more intelligent. It makes you even more arrogant and self-centered at the same time. Wala kang breeding, and I doubt you got a high score in your GMRC.

I don’t care if people get angry at me, because they don’t even know how did I suffer way back in high school. I know some people will understand how I felt when you just made taboy of me and sided with that homewrecker. Yeah, call me a big mouth, but you know what?

I seriously despise your rotten attitude on the inside. You chose that “homewrecker” because you think you could talk about that stupid game almost everyday, and yet you tolerated her hypocritical attitude as well. Well yeah, you deserve one another.

End of the f*cking story.

To those who have read my blog…

I’m sorry for ranting like this, I hope you guys won’t ever judge me for being a bitch while typing this blog entry. You see, someone out there really needs some tough love right there. Anyways, I do not like ranting like this. It’s only that some people should not be too confident just because they got everything. Some people right there are hard-to-please, regardless of how they set their standards.

One thought on “Should I forget my crush or not?

  1. Pingback: Komi Says: DOUBLE PAYBACK! | Anything in Random, by MSP

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