Confessions: The time of AA Klenk is over!

Perchance the most INFAMOUS and CONTROVERSIAL (has-been) starlet ever. CTTO.

NOTE: This is a collab with senyorkomikado.

I won’t be ashamed of the fact that I used to be an obsessive hater of KubetAA.

Nope, you’re wrong. Hindi po ako “confused admirer ni KubetAA (contrary to what THE Paolo Coelho said in one of his FB posts),” but to be honest, I was only promoting the importance of maintaining a sense of morality in the entertainment industry.

Call me a hypocrite for advocating friendliness to fans ALL THE TIME during those times, yet to be honest, it’s better to have a sense of pride. Don’t you know how most Japanese humble themselves!? They always keep a cheerful smile as their “tatemae.” In fact, the Japanese only show their real selves to people they really trust (LOL, sounds deep, eh?).

Seriously, AA deserves to be a has-been. Why?

She is a has-been is because, she deserves to be one. Even her “Tubig at Langis” teleserye was a FLOP, even before the fiasco vs. Vivian Velez.

I only stopped bashing her when she officially became a has-been, until again, she became (in)famous again for having a rift with Velez.

Hindi talaga nau-ubusan ng “palengkera” issue itong si KubetAA, ah!

Oh anyways, our team always makes sure that AA won’t ever comeback in the entertainment industry and give more leeway to celebrities with good image. We don’t actually mind Solenn Heussaff, Lovi Poe, or Alessandra De Rossi to become overrated. In fact, people are now leaning to GMA since when it comes to morality issues, GMA always makes sure that their talents are well-behaved. They’re actually known for imposing strict discipline to their talents—iyung mga kagaya pala ni Sarah Lahbati, diba pinagdidiskitahan siya ng management ng GMA, kaya to the rescue na naman ang pambansang PATOLA na si Annabelle “Tita Bisaya” Rama. LOL.

Well, dahil gusto naman si Sarah L. ni Tita Bisaya, sabi niya kay Vice Ganda, “Kung ayaw niya sakin, eh di tinalakan na ako nun.”

Well, that’s it. Anyways, Sarah Lahbati’s attitude did not sit well with the management… so what they did is to give her sanctions. Same happened to CR.

HAHAHAHAHA! In fact, AA was EXPELLED from GMA, forcing her to transfer to ABS-CBN. And guess what? AA became more (in)famous and conceited while getting projects… through casting couch.

That was the time I lambasted her—as my so-called “part-time (inside) job.” The only reason why I bash her is because, I am anti-immorality. Call me a moralist of some sort, and an elitist at the same time for being mean and hostile towards AA, yet to be honest, what if young girls will emulate her immoral acts?

Buti na nga, nag-tone down na ang MOKONG—ever since she got married. Iba parin talaga kapag kasal ka, ano?

However, I still sense that she only married her husband is for the sake of her daughter. Iyun an iyon—kaya kung ako sa kanya, she should really be sincere about cleaning up her act, before it’s too late. Anyways, she could start again if she wants—provided, she’ll do her best to improve her craft, and at the same time, achieve self-actualization.

Sino palang matinong sexy star ngayon?

Itanong niyo pa si Anti-AAdiks—she would rather prefer the likes of Ellen Adarna (well, wala na eh, WALWAL pala ang bruha), Mocha Uson, or Maria Ozawa—kung sexy star lang din ang pag-uusapan. Kung hindi lang WALWAL si Ellen Adarna, she would have been more welcomed by the elitists of GirlTalk forums. In fact, it’s never a joke to hail from a wealthy, prominent clan in Cebu. You know naman, Cebu is known for its unique culture—pretty much the Osaka of the Philippines. The only difference between Osaka and Cebu is that, Cebuano is a language, while Osaka-ben is well, a dialect. Their similarities is this—Osakans and Cebuanos tend to speak up their mind, in contrast to the Tokyo-ites and the Manilenyos. Also, the Osakans and Cebuanos are tougher, yet more laid-back—and less materialistic compared to people who hail from the capital region.

Ellen Adarna is pretty much not apt for the Cebuano culture—if you were to ask me. Mas bagay pa siya tumira sa Kanlurang Europa ay dahil, wapakels naman ang mga tao dun kapag magwa-WALWAL ka lang. She cannot survive in the US, where the culture is still relatively PRUDE. Lalo na sa Canada—marami ring mga PRUDE na tao dun. Well, not even in Osaka, Japan, because obviously she’ll lose face there. Mas matino pa nga ‘ata si Erika Sawajiri sa kanya (well, never naman naging walwal si Eka-sama, to think na pasaway din iyun).

Meanwhile, Mocha Uson is not only a sexy star—she proved that she’s multi-faceted (she’s a fitness instructor in a morning show, she is the leader and founder of the Mocha Girls, she’s a sex guru, and she has a medical education background) before becoming a Duterte Die-Hard Supporter (DDS). In fact, her staunch support for President Duterte became prominent before, during, and after his victory. Her newfound fame came out naturally—compared to let’s say, Kris Aquino.

Mocha Uson’s concern for the Filipino people—whether you don’t feel it at all—is genuine. No wonder, the Duterte administration gave her the appointment to be one of the board members of the MTRCB. Take note ah, kung ikukumpara niyo lamang si Mocha kay Tita Bisaya, remember, Tita Bisaya was offered a/n MTRCB position as CHAIRMAN, not simply a board member. Kaya nag-decline si Tita Bisaya, prolly because she learned her lesson after she failed to capture the attention of her fellow Cebuanos when she ran for congress. Another theory is from Ruffa Gutierrez—she stated that Tita Bisaya is not patient enough to watch movies everyday in her room—for evaluation.

Magkaiba po iyun—CHAIRMAN vs. BOARD MEMBER. Kung CHAIRMAN ang in-offer-an ng admin ni Digong kay Mocha, MAGTAKA na kayo.

In fact, the blessings come to Mocha without effort at all. That’s good karma. Before she became a board member of the MTRCB, she was offered a job as a columnist for PhilStar’s OpEd section. I have read her articles and guess what, she’s better in expressing herself in Tagalog than in English. No offense to Mocha, but her articles in HOTSHOT sounded as if she’s writing an essay in class. LOL. Oh, well. At least, her articles are informative and analytical.

Why, do you want to read a SHAKESPEAREAN article that only talks about superficiality? No thanks. I don’t care if there’s poor grammar, for as long as it is constructed substantially.

Lastly—Maria Ozawa. So far, Maria Ozawa is the most wholesome, when it comes to simply being a sexy star. Ang mga sexy star kagaya niya, ginagalang. As a matter of fact, Ma-chan is waaaay more substantial than Kris Aquino when it comes to talking about sex. Speaking of being a sexy star, Ma-chan does not have venereal disease.

Sa mga tatlo, I think Ma-chan and Mocha are better than Ellen Adarna. At least, Double M’s did not engage into cheap proposals such as kissing a guy while smoking cigarette, pumapatol sa pamilyadong lalaki, at higit sa lahat, iyung tipong maglalasing kapag formal party. Tingin ko, MALALAOS sila Double M’s kapag naglasing sila sa Vin D’Honneur ni Tatay Digong, tsaka kapag hahalikan nila si Baste Duterte habang nagyoyosi (LOL).

Kaya tingnan niyo, mas LAPITIN sina Double M’s kay Ellen Adarna—kapag mag-dyi-GYM lang sila, at least hindi sila maglalabas ng YOSI tsaka ALAK, tsaka instant post sa IG stories nila. KALOKOHAN kapag gym ka ng gym, exercise ng exercise ta’s maglalabas lang ng ALAK tsaka YOSI. Tok shet or, POST SHET ang tawag dun.

Sure na mawawalan ka ng credibility kapag hindi ka role model sa mga followers mo. Tama ba, KubetAA!?

As a matter of fact, hindi talaga GOOD EXAMPLE tsaka ROLE MODEL si KubetAA eversince. Masabi lang na totoong tao ka, gagawa ka lang ng isyu para lang mapag-usapan!? In fact, I don’t buy her “nagpapaka-totoo” shit, since she’s a hypocrite NAN DESU. Akala kasi niya, paniniwalaan siya ng mga madla, na kesyo palaban siya, totoong tao kaagad—when in fact, Ellen Adarna is the real transparent one. The only thing that is wrong with Ellen is that, she makes her “totoong tao” as an excuse, gaya na lang sa Star Magic Ball. NAPAHIYA tuloy si Ejay Falcon dahil sa kanya.

In fact, Ellen won’t survive the elitist culture of DLSU or even AdMU at all. Kahit maraming mga liberated tsaka Westernized ang ugali sa mga sosyaling pamantasan, bawal pa naman (not necessarily bawal, but you know what I mean) ang magpakita ng pag-uugaling WALWAL, kahit party time sa gabi. I bet, the upper-middle class and lower-elite class Cebuanos in posh uni’s would rather be ASHAMED of Ellen as their compatriot.

If Ellen wants to still be in showbiz, why can’t she go back to corporate life in Cebu and invest for herself? As a matter of fact, she does not need anymore to be an artista, since she can work naman for the family business (eh mukhang AYAW niya, eh). Buti pa nga ang mga kapatid niya, successful sa kanilang trabaho sa family businesses nila—eh si Ellen, parang wala lang.

Oh well.

Well at least, you now know the difference, ah? See why Mocha is really popular—in fact, it won’t matter if she becomes OVERRATED. Besides, Mocha comes from a family of professionals. Her late father was a judge who handled the most sensitive case in Pangasinan, while her mother is a physician. Mocha intended to follow her mother’s footsteps to become a doctor—until she chose her passion, which is music.

Also, Mocha is waaaaay more substantial than Ellen. I do not know much about Mocha, until she became DDS. Besides, if Mocha is being the butt of jokes of many elite intellectuals, at least she does not mind them. Di baleng maging butt of jokes, kesa naman sa maging subject of hatred ka. Look at Nancy Binay, she was the butt of jokes, but to be honest, she only took it with a grain of salt. Kumbaga, iba parin talaga kapag na-BFF ka ni Senyora Santibañez.

Doon na lang ako sa mga kagaya ni Mocha Uson, kahit butt of jokes, sige laban parin—kesa naman sa mga elitistang feeling matalino, eh NGAPA din naman pagdating sa logic.

Kung babansagan niyo lang sina Mocha, Ellen, o Ma-chan ng “maghubad na lang kayo,” eh di WOW! #NeverForget what the Robin Padilla fans did to Ma-chan, after she addressed her concerns regarding Binoe’s EXIT during their film, “Nilalang.” Pati grammar ni Ma-chan, binira pa nila. HELLO!? Ganyan ba ka-babaw ang mga Pilipino pagdating sa grammar, kahit Haponesang mahasa sa Ingles, hindi niyo pa palalampasin!? Her grammer has NOTHING to do with the “Nilalang” controversy, because Robin Padilla has to take care of his wife Mariel Padilla (the original pabebe queen), because of her delicate pregnancy—with triplets.

And the shallow-tards will blame Ma-chan for the miscarriage!? HOW PATHETIC!

Besides, marami paring mga taong MABABA ang tingin sa mga sexy star—but—

I don’t mind people bashing KubetAA not because sexy star siya—wala akong paki kung sexy star ang isang tao. Kung kilala ka dati pa as infamous and controversial—tsaka nagsisimula ng isyu para lang mapag-usapan, well, prepare to be a has-been. Hindi pu-pwede sa Japan ang ganyang ugali. I bet, kung magiging sexy actress lang si KubetAA dun, malamang, nag-enjo kosai na ang gaga. Worse, madali siyang ma-LAOS dun. And the worst!? Baka masira pa ang imahe ng mga Pilipino dahil sa kanya.

Magpasalamat si KubetAA at hindi siya Haponesa. Kung Haponesa siya, matagal na siyang nalaos, tsaka na-bully ng mga tiga-Japanese media.

And when the Japanese will keep on bullying her, she won’t help but to commit seppuku. Besides, if AA apologizes, most of the time it is due to pressure from the rather meticulous Japanese shakai.

Note: To Aljur Abrenica, tandaan mo ‘to! Kung sa Japan ka siguro naging artista, matagal ka na sigurong LAOS! Also, baka i-bully ka talaga ng matindi ng Japanese media niyan—at kung magiging kayo man ni Kylie sa Japan—at ikakasal pa kayo, you might end up being divorced like Amuro Namie and Sam Maruyama. Additional trivia: In fact, Namie’s personal experience as a divorcee and a single mom that time made her have two more (in)famouns tattoos on her left arm—which is a tribute to her late mother (with really crappy Engrish LOL), and to her son. No wonder, Senyor Komikado and I agree with simply one thing—we both hate Namie-chan’s tattoos on her left arm—they’re FUGLY. Mukha talagang pang-kulungan ang tattoo niya (the way it was etched was EUGH! Also, it was written in Engrish); good thing she had it erased (please, if you can’t speak English at the first place, you better NOT have English tattoos). I bet, Namie only had tattoos to go against her management, which deprived her from her freedom to live like a normal person.

Ironically though, Maria Ozawa shared that she was “treated like crap” when she was staying in Japan. No wonder, living in Japan could—make or break your impression towards Japan.

If Ma-chan is treated like crap… prolly AA will be treated like crap a gazillion times much worse…

Well, not surprising there—AA will be forced to commit seppuku once she becomes (in)famous/controversial—in Japan. Besides, ayaw na ayaw ng mga Hapones ang madalas naglu-lose face—and does not give a damn.

So, there you have it! Now you know why I bashed AA a lot of times!

Komikado Reacts/Komi Says: KU-BE-TA… REEEEEEEEEEEEEH!

Mas nakakatawa si Negra/Neggy! HAHAHA! >:D

Hahahaha! Basta kapag may KubetAA, si Neggy na lang ang sidekick comedian!? Buti na lang at kapag si Neggy, siya ang nakakatawa! Gaya ng dati!

Eww! Kaya super duper ultra extra MEGA saglit lang ang segment ni KubetAA ay dahil nakaka-irita na siyang panoorin! Hitzu pa lang niya, mukha na siyang trying-hard magpatawa!

Twitter Comments:

KubetaYUCKz

KubetaYUCK KubetaYUCKx KubetaYUCKxx KubetaYUCKxxx KubetaYUCKxxxx KubetaYUCKxxxxx

Ahahahahaha! Poking Ina naman kasi, eh! At isa pa, masyado pang conscious sa hitzu si KubetAA. Feeling maganda, pero tadtad naman ng retoke ang mukha niya: Nosejob, boobjob lipojob and lastly… BLOWJOB!

Ang chaka nga niya nowadays! As in, puro tadtad ng tattoo ang katawan niya. Nakakasuya! Ang sagwa! Sheeeeeeeeeeht!

Tingnan niyo naman nung nag-guest si P-Chi sa GGV:

At least may stage presence pa ang aleng P-Chi, ‘no! Putakte! Talo pa niya si KubetAA pagdating sa stage presence. Although tanders na rin ang lola niyo, pananalita pa lang niya, matatawa na kayo! ‘Yun nga lang, hindi siya gaanong nakakatuwa kumpara nung nakaraang henerasyon. Dito niyo makikitang… napa-retoke na rin si P-Chi, pero at least, wala paring kupas ang kanyang pagiging komedyante.

Komikado Reacts/Komi Says:

Cristine Reyes!? Meeeh… kahit papano, mas magaling namang magpatawa si Neggy, ‘no! At saka pagdating sa stage presence, daig pa siya ni Rufa Mae Quinto! Walang sinabi ang KubetAA lalo na’t ang ate niya ay professional comedienne din!

Hindi ba, mga AA-tards!?

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Pero huwag kayo, mas NAKAKATAWA naman ang latest niyang tattoo!

KubetAA

KubeTATz KubeTATzz

 

SHIIIIIIIIIT na MALAGKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! At eto pa ang nakita ko ah:

KubetaNOze

 

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Ang chaka lang niya! Putakte! Mukha parin siyang BAKULAWWWWW na pinaliit! EWWWWWWWW!

Isa siyang… nakakatakot na nilalang!

Heto ang talagang FP comment!

Anonymous 22-Sep-2013, 3.18 PM said:

Papansin talaga. feeling ang ganda2 nya..palaging nagpapacute sa instagram. Halos lahat posts nya may agenda: that is to make papansin and magpacute and magpatweetums ng image. Sadly, you are failing. Para ka nang kalevel nila Ethel Booba, Rochelle, …etc. Ang layo mo kay Angelica. Jologs din si Angelica pero may class. Ikaw jologs na ewan. Kahit ano pang pampaganda mo, wala kang appeal.

Dear anon,

Ang pagiging jologs ni AA ay bordering na sa jeje level. Kung tutuusin mo ang mga IG posts niya, nako po! Jejeng-jeje talaga! HAHAHA! (:

O ayan! Sana masaya kayo sa comment niyang iyan!

Kómi Says Memes Latest Comics!

Kómi Travels from Istanbul, Turkey to Madrid, Spain

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Ang pagiging AMPALAYA ni Señora Santibañez kay Kómi

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Meynteyn is at Kómi’s defense!

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Mukha bang retokado si Sakai Masato!?

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Sikat ang papa-bells sa Madrid!? Hindi nga!?

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Kómikado has found a new friend in James Franco

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Ang Bagong Don Facundo ni Señora… BOW!

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Pathetic Spoiled Brat… accdg. to Kómikado!

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Kómikado says good things about James Franco… but then again…

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Role Model nga ba talaga si Janine Tugonon!? EHEM!

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Posted these things on WordPress.com in order for people to know why the memes sometimes become serious!

UNLI ISYU na naman…

I am super sick and tired of ranting against AA, because she has always been a professional skank! HAHAHAHA!

Thechicka.com said:

Speaking of Cristine Reyes, the actress is allegedly caught in a new conflict with sister Ara Mina and her family. The sisters, who have just ended a year-long rift in March, are currently not seeing eye to eye again. According to reports, Ara and the rest of their family do not approve of Cristine’s new boyfriend who has sired two children from his previous relationship.

The guy was reportedly a gym/martial arts instructor who works in a gym in Paranaque which Cristine frequents. According to the grapevine, the guy left his live-in partner to be with the sexy actress who is slated to star opposite Gerald Anderson in the upcoming Kapamilya teleserye Bukas Na Lang Kita Mamahalin.

Pati sa isang taong may dalawang anak, pinagpi-piyestahan na rin ni AA!? Wow ah! Wala na nga siyang sinasanto, hindi pa siya namimili! Yes, Dutch right peoplez! She is the true definition of IGAT. In other words, malandi to the max! HAHAHAHAHA!

Banderablogs also mentioned this one.

Cristine is really a certified homewrecker. To all Angelina Jolie haters (particularly Maniston fanz) out there, AA is a homewrecker. If Angelina may have been one, at least she isn’t promiscuous, contrary to what people think! Cristine will flirt with you, and there’s one rumor that she broke up with Rayver not because of their private conflicts and whatever, but there are some speculations that she had an abortion. True or not, it’s not the only thing that was thrown to her. She was also said to be diagnosed with STD (HAHAHAHAHA, sakit ng mga hitad, in other words!)–after contracting meningitis.

To AA’s fantards and rabid fans (haha, hello AAdiks), if I attack your idol, that doesn’t mean I am attacking you personally (same with Majarot’s fantards, too!). Anyways, mas karespe-respeto naman ang mga Popsters kumpara naman sa inyo! HAHAHAHAHA!

Quoting of course, my favorite blogger and a very close ally:

Joining beauty contests are NO JOKE, because it requires a whole lotta’ discipline to one’s self. Posing in Men’s magazines, having worked in strip clubs, doing uber-provocative scenes/bordering porn in movies and having photo/video scandals spread across the internet prior to joining Bb. Pilipinas CAN GIVE YOURSERLF A TICKET TO DISQUALIFICATION to the beauty pageants. I don’t even need to mention na bawal ang bobita, palengkera, umbagera, skandalosa at kung ano-ano pang kagagahan sa buhay.

Speaking of beauty pageants, even though they’re also objectified beings, they still impose disciplinary measures towards the candidates. At least these beauty pageant candidates should do their best to keep their image and reputation squeaky-clean.

I don’t think AA qualifies to be a beauty queen. While some people think she’s a goddess, apologies but I beg to disagree with you. Cristine is an epitome of a sex doll, or a high-class hooker doing enjo kosai in the busy streets of Tokyo, Japan. Kung ipa-rape na lang siya kay Issei Sagawa, eh (matutuwa pa ako niyan, hahahaha! BTW, Issei Sagawa is a Japanese cannibal known to murder and massacre the body of Renee Hartevelt, a Dutch exchange student, in France)! It should also be taken note that if AA was forced to fuck with all the bosses of the biggest conglomerates in the world, it would be her favorite job! HAHAHA! In other words, bagay siya sa strip club/beerhouse. Period. Walang comma.

See!? I’m always correct!

SOURCE

Oha, sa’n ka makakapulot ng ganitong artikulo!? This time, si Alex Datu na ang nagsasalita, hindi na si Ka Pete.

POOR guy Joross Gamboa dahil siya ngayon ang napagtripan ni Cristine Reyes kaya nawala ito sa cast ng Bukas Na Lang Kita Iibigin, isang te­leserye na pagtatambalan nila ni Gerald Anderson. Kahit sabihin ng aktres na wala siyang alam sa pangyayari, walang maniniwala sa kanya dahil ang ipinalit sa aktor ay si Rayver Cruz na kasintahan nito.

Kung may galit man ang aktres kay Joross ay posibleng isiping nag-ugat sa kanilang magsyota noon at naging kontrobersiyal pa ito dahil may larawan na kumalat sa internet na naghahalikan silang dalawa.

Gumaganti ba ang aktres sa ex o naawa lang siya kay Rayver na walang project maliban sa pagsasayaw sa ASAP kaya nilakad nitong mapasama sa nasabing te­leserye kahit magiging dahilan ito ng pagkawala ni Joross. Kawawa naman siya dahil pinaghandaan talaga nito ang kanyang papel sa nasabing teleserye pero nagulat na lamang siya na wala na pala siya as in, tinanggal at pinalitan ni Rayver.

Base sa pangyayari, pagkatapos nitong awayin sina Ara Mina, ang nanay nito at kapatid nitong nanghihiram lang ng pera para magamit sa panganganak ng asawa nito pero puro lait at panliliit ang napala nito. Ngayon naman ay ang kanyang ex-syota na si Joross thus, maraming nag-speculate na baka may sa­yad ang aktres dahil paiba-iba ang mood swing nito.

Now it’s time for AA’s career downfall. After all, no one will believe that Gerald Anderson misses Rayver Cruz. Plain and simple. (: